Saturday is pasta day

Two weeks running if all goes well. Going to go to this fresh pasta place called “Mochi-Mochi Pasta.” Mochi-mochi, one of those sound effect words, gives the impression of soft, like mochi, but not in an overcooked way but in a hey, it’s fresh kind of way. I decided on today because yesterday my wife said I should do everything I want before next Friday because I might get dragged back into the hospital. She loves to scare me that way. Can’t say I always dig that, because you know, I don’t know if I have a reason to be scared. Maybe I do. 

What I didn’t write about yesterday was probably the most important thing. My whole sonogram thing. Or "echo," plain "echo" as they call it. The doctors, in this case Clumsy Sensei always find something to worry about in my insides and that’s kind of discouraging. There’s a build up around my kidney now, like a wall, as they referred to it. They don’t seem as worried about it as they were over the abdominal cavity filling with pus or my gall bladder doing the same. And when my wife asked about sticking me presumably to drain, Clumsy Sensei wasn’t sure about doing that, in other words it wasn’t an automatic like with the previously mentioned. In fact every time there has been a problem with my guts going back to the aciditis (something like that) of my stomach and the cancerous barnacles, draining has been the first and only option they have thought about. But now... She doesn’t seem that worried and I am suffering no pain or fever: she said in fact I shouldn’t worry about next week because it very well could be for no reason. Of course they can’t promise that or anything, because of all the who knows what might happen sort of shit that does happen in my gut. I guess it’s not surprising really, considering the state o my liver. That’s the thing though, I would need that magical full battery of Japanese I don’t have or they would need the same only with English so I could discuss this whole deal properly, I think. As in is my cancerous liver responsible for this? I imagine it sending out signals, spies, saboteurs to wreck my guts from the inside, like it can do damage without seeding them with metastasizing cancer. I simply don’t know. I would also like to ask if the chemo might have contributed simply by making me weaker and more vulnerable (sorry for another knee jerk blame, chemo). There’s so much I don’t know, I can only guess, say that's okay, got so much wrong with me, it only makes sense I’m weak and susceptible to so much more. But how exactly?

At least I’m not in pain. And Clumsy Sensei is not that worried. The other times, oh she was worried, and my wife has noted Clumsy Sensei does not have a good poker face. But still, just in case, going to have my pasta now.