Getting back in gear

I realize I have been in a mental torpor the last week, that when I’m not sleeping—yay, sleeping—I spend too much time watching TV, idling my mind. I think this was just a break and now it’s time to get back to blog work, Dark Backwards work. And when my wife resumes her work schedule, it’ll be sad and depressing, but let’s face it, it'll also be my chance to do what I have to do. Hell, what I want to do. It’s just when you get out of the writing habit, it’s hard to jump back in. When you’re in you're in, and it just goes.

Geez, I’m in so much of a mental torpor I’ve barely squeezed out a hundred words on my mental torpor. It’s meta, self-referential etc etc. By the way, speaking of torpors mental and physical (ye gods what a lame segue), I went out today to return the Dr. Who DVDs and for more washletting at Yamada. We went in reverse order and in the middle stopped off at a Family Mart to pick up a ham sandwich for tomorrow’s breakfast. I went in and out of the first two establishments, walking through a brief zone of summer air. It was enough to exhaust me. 

Cause for worry?

Not overly much, I think. Often I start off bad and then when I get enough inside time I can make a decent run at walking (seriously?) and come home only exhausted. It won’t make me sick like that one time when I was still on chemo and tried to test myself walking a couple blocks and ended up with a fever the next day (in fact, it was that fever that knocked me off of chemo). Even when I was done with the walk I felt sick, could barely stand after that, didn’t eat a thing for dinner either. It’s not like that this time around, even when I test myself at Costco. Even that time when I overtaxed myself at the Aeon Mall in Kurashiki. So you know, doing fine in comparison. Worried how I’ll be when I’m strapped into the chemo merry-go-round again, that necessary gut punishment, but there’s nothing I can do about that now except get as healthy as possible. Okay, now I’m just saying shit I’m always saying. Deal is I wasn’t at my best today but it taint cause for alarm. Keep plugging away, dream of days when it’s less humid (where I’ll be on chemo again and not sonna ni affected by it, crossing my fingers here).