This could be a problem, because I have trouble sometimes being patient too. I want to be all better by next week etc. I have to remind myself constantly how far I’ve come and I kind of want support for that. My wife though thinks it’s strange I’m not all better yet, that I’m worse off physically than I was in May when this started. I’d like to point out to her my stick figure arms and legs she always calls kimoi (like disgusting or creepy, in this case I think it is more like the sight of them freaks her out, me too) as a sign that things are going to take awhile. I can’t imagine she expects to see my full or at least a passing resemblance to a healthy weight on my bones in the next couple weeks or so. My wife freely admits not being the most patient person out there though. I guess it’s like everything, where I depend on her strength and support which amounts to her seconding me when I say I have to take it slow and these things take time. I guess I won’t be getting that. She does pretty much everything else, I guess on this I have to go it alone. Accept we have different time tables, and not ask anything more out of her than she already gives.
Damn.
Her attitude may change as time goes on. This is still very early in the game. Illnesses require a lot of adjusting and compromising for all involved. We who need support do have to learn to self-sooth because we can't expect everything from just one person. Not easy, not done overnight, but one can learn. Self-talk, etc. Speaking from experience here. I'm sure you two will figure it out as you go along. I know in the US, couples often seek counseling to deal with the "new normal" of an illness. Not sure what the protocol is in Japan. Sorry to sound so clinical, just put my social worker cap on ;)
ReplyDeleteNo, I appreciate your thoughts on the subject. It is something for both of us to adjust to, the new normal. I like that phrase, quite true.
ReplyDeleteThat should have been "soothe" not "sooth." D'oh!
ReplyDeleteDidn't even notice it. Of course I make those mistakes all the time. I think I made an extra comment one time to correct my mistake as well.
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